This is an excerpt from my book: YOU ARE WISER THAN YOU THINK
You can read the full book in the On Line Book Store
YOU ARE ALWAYS COMMUNICATING
In every moment that you are alive you are communicating on some level, otherwise you could not exist. Communication is an energy exchange that occurs as you interact with life. Often, it is the communication that occurs unconsciously between people that shape our lives and relationships without our even knowing it. Communication is in every essence of our being. Communication lies within our words, our actions, our thoughts, life examples and also, in the absence of any of these things.
What’s that you say?
We all know that, to some degree, the problems we face from day to day are due to a lack of communication. Many of us have a mythical belief that if we knew the right words at the right time our problems would be solved.
If it were only that simple.
Modern version of communication
For many of us, if we were asked for the definition of “communication” or “to communicate,” we might say:
“Communication: the ability to express yourself and your views in order to influence others and get what you want.”
Though the dictionary meaning is:
Communicate – to convey knowledge or information about: to reveal by clear signs: to transmit information, of thought or feeling, so that it is satisfactorily received. From the Merriam-Webster dictionary
Communicate – to express oneself in such a way that one is readily and clearly understood: to reveal clearly, to manifest. From Your Dictionary.com
In this book we are going to consider a new way to communicate with people, our pets, our world and ourselves. Let’s start by redefining the value system for communication.
WORDS TO THE WISE
TO THE EXTENT THAT YOU CAN COMMUNICATE IS TO THE EXTENT THAT
YOU CARE TO.
Simply put. The more you care about someone or something, the harder you try to help them understand.
Redefining Communication
1 Good communication is not about you it is about “us.”
2 To communicate well, the other person’s needs must be equal to our own.
3 For our communication to be heard we must speak in terms that the other can identify with.
4 Sound communication allows the other person to move at a pace that is comfortable for them and acceptable for us.
5 Effective communication will give them enough information to make a decision that is in their best interest as well as ours.
6 Sincere communication comes from our heart and not our head.
7 For us to communicate our needs we must first understand our needs and take responsibility for them.
8 Courageous communication is when we are willing to point out our own shortcomings as quickly as we would, theirs.
9 Communication makes a difference when it shares the truth of a situation, as we know it at that time, whether it is in our favor or not.
Lost communication
1 You cannot lie and communicate at the same time.
2 You are not communicating if you are withholding facts, using niceties or changing the information in a way so that you “win.”
3 Communication is not occurring if the only voice you can hear is your own.
4 Your communication has failed if the other party comes away with nothing.
5 Communication cannot begin if you have no interest in learning about the other party and their needs.
WORDS TO THE WISE
YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF
COMMUNICATING IF YOUR SOLE
MOTIVATION FOR COMMUNICATING IS TO WIN.
YOUR INTENTION IN THAT CASE IS TO DOMINATE.
